What Have I Got In My Pockets: Three Essential Items for Men to Carry Without Using a Purse

All men probably know this riddle: What have I got in my pockets?

As it would turn out, it’s not just an infamous question asked by Bilbo Baggins. It really is an important question to ask yourself, because it’s a matter of accidentally washing the twenty bucks you stuffed in your jeans… along with your driver’s license and iPhone.

Now there’s nothing we can do about your iPhone, you’re just gonna have to reboot that and hope for the best (or dry it in a bag of rice, which really does work), but we CAN give you a few tips on what’s absolutely essential to carry around in those manly pockets of yours.

First of all, what do you do with your money? Do you stick it in a wallet with the big bills on the outside and have all of the presidents’ faces all facing in the same direction, as if it’s some kind of messed up historical game of Twister?

Or, do you just take all of your cash, shove it in your pockets, and leave the change scattered in various places throughout the house and car?

We’re guessing the second one, so for the love of all things awesome, GET A MONEY CLIP. The Vvego Vvault wallet is perfect for any man, since it still carries 5-6 cards, and yet, it’s still flat enough that you can fit it in the front pocket of your jeans. This makes it a lot harder to forget about, unless you happen to be the laziest person on Earth.

But what do you need aside from your money? What’s the one thing that everyone wishes they had, but never seems to, when they actually need it?

The answer is a pen.

But not just any pen! A lot of you – and you know who you are – have the tendency to take the cap off the pen or at the very least leave it clicked open so you can put it back in your pocket to destroy your shirt . Am I right?

Well, the Space Pen from Fisher has you covered – just like they claim on Seinfeld. It writes upside down and the tungsten materials used to make it, keep the thing from leaking.  So this way, you can keep your shirt white and always have a pen, whether you need it to sign a receipt or need the metal tab to pick the lock on the house you just locked yourself out of.

And lastly, what is the final most important piece?

Is it a comb? Sort of, but not really – not every guy has enough hair to comb. Whether you’re naturally bald or just buzzed, that’s okay! We’re not making fun of you. In fact, we’re not singling anyone out – anyone with or without hair can use a flashlight.

Why a flashlight?

Well, that pocket knife you love so much is great, but you’re not getting through TSA with it just yet. And that flask could one day get you arrested for public drunkenness, so a flashlight it is.

You never know when you may need one. What if you drop your keys between the seats of the car? Or what if you’re suddenly in a cave and need to make sure you don’t trip the switch that makes the ceiling come down and kill you? That last one might be a little too Temple of Doom for anyone’s liking, but be prepared!

So you may not have the One Ring in your pockets. That’s sad for you, since no one would actually guess that even in Middle Earth, but it’s not about what you don’t have. It’s always about what you do have and how you can use those things, just to get through the day.